Kansas City Divorced Dads Resources

Parental Kidnapping Laws and Your Rights

2010-06-22T16:54:00.011-06:00

Hey guys. I have a list of the updated statutes for the state of Missouri regarding the states kidnapping laws. I highly suggest all men read these laws and know them well regardless if you are or are not the custodial parent. I see too many of us making the wrong decision or standing by as our the mothers of our children run afoul of the law and keep us from our god given rights as dads to see our children. If anyone who reads these statutes has had any luck in exercising the law one way or another please let me know.

MO Statute Chapter 565

Keep up the good fight!

How A Divorce Can Distress Your Credit

2009-07-17T09:20:00.004-06:00

The figures on how many marriages end in divorce are staggering. And as emotionally heartbreaking as a divorce can be all too often it also has an severely harmful effect on your money as well.

Far too frequently these days, a person who has been a dependable and dependable credit risk for many years ends up with colossal problems on their credit following a divorce. One of the main causes of problematic credit for many individuals is divorce.

When you are married you and your spouse are often together treated as just as responsible for repaying loans like mortgages, car payments and credit cards. When the split-up happens the courts usually allot responsibility to one or the other party. However, even though this is by order of the court many times the creditors will ignore it, especially if the loan goes delinquent.

A divorce decree does not show up on a credit report. If the ex-spouse who is responsible for the balance misses a payment the creditors can and will attempt to collect from the other party. Both parties will also have the failure reported on their credit reports. If your ex-spouse is supposed to pay but doesn't, you will be held answerable.

Another dilemma is that since the family unit has split up and you are now living in a different place, you will not receive any notices so it is likely that you will not even be conscious that there is a trouble with these until they are really delinquent and they are already showing on your credit report.

While having your credit report being affected may seem terrible enough if the other spouse decides to declare bankruptcy, you could be held legally responsible for the total amount of the balance due even though the courts assigned it to your ex spouse. You may be targeted by the creditor as the lone alternative obtainable for them to collect the balance.

Unfortunately at this time the credit system is inequitable to the victims of divorce. Every so often a bankruptcy is the only way to finally finalize a split-up and that is disastrous for the ex-spouse that wants to be responsible and keep a good credit score.

However this state of affairs is just one illustration of why it is crucial that we have the right and we can repair our credit. We can dispute any item on our credit reports, including bankruptcies that we feel may be inaccurate, untimely, incomplete, ambiguous, misleading, untimely, unverifiable, prejudiced or unclear. by Sam Elliott

Do You Need A Divorce Lawyer To Represent You?

2009-06-02T12:30:00.001-06:00

With marriage breakups happening every day, finding a reliable and competent divorce lawyer ready to take on a case isn't always easy. Ideally a divorce attorney should be spending half their time dealing with divorce cases and preferably one who is a good mediator. Still, you also need to feel at ease with them; someone who immediately instills a sense of trust.

Adversarial attorneys will use the hammer to crack a walnut approach which often happens when these cases go to court whereas an attorney who specializes in mediation will take a much calmer approach. To save time when you contact your divorce lawyer, keep conversations brief and to the point, which can be achieved by preparing what you need from them in advance.

Whether you intend to see them or speak on the phone, write everything down as this is the most efficient way to utilize your legal representative and keep a record of dates and times you spoke with them. As all costs relating to law and legal advice are costly, try not to visit them at the office unless absolutely necessary; this can be achieved by using the phone or mail.

Your attorney is there for advice and any foreseeable legal actions so do not rely on them for anything but what you are paying them for, and especially not as a shoulder to cry on. When you talk to a divorce lawyer, stick to the facts and don't complain about things your spouse did unless you actually want your lawyer to do something about.

Being in control of your own case and your own life is the single best thing you can do, so it is essential that you have a lawyer who can work on that basis. You are employing them for their experience but at the same time you need them to understand that it is your divorce and you want to make the decisions about how it is too proceed. You will need to instruct them to forward any information they have received to you and you expect a prompt reply to any issue you may raise.

There are instances when you may not actually need direct legal representation but may just wish to use the services of a lawyer for advice on legal aspects like a marital settlement. For someone taking this route, it is only important that you approach a lawyer to have certain aspects explained once you have carried out you own research. It is not uncommon for people to draw up their own marital settlements with the help of a divorce lawyer who is familiar with the case.

My First Rant...

2009-03-19T22:11:00.003-06:00

This is my first rant and rave I am posting to my blog. So here goes…… Having been a divorced dad and forced to bear the psychological scarlet letter of being cursed with the wrong sexual organ by the judicial system I have a new perspective to add to divorced life. Just a little over three years ago I filed a motion to modify custody because it became grossly apparent that things with my children’s mother had reached critical mass. Their mother was on the outs with her 2nd marriage to the father of her 5th child and found herself in the arms of a child molesting pedophile.

Read more of this child custody story.

Mens Divorce Strategy Guide

2008-12-12T22:31:00.004-06:00

If you are a man facing divorce, this is quite simply the most important letter you will read today – and possibly the most important letter you will read in your lifetime!

It’s true and here’s why:

In less than the 10 minutes it takes you to read this letter, I’m going to reveal how you can quickly and easily WIN your divorce and keep from losing everything that’s important to you – like your kids, your house, your car, your TV, your clothes and much, much more!

That’s Why I Urge You to Go Lock the Door, Take the Phone Off the Hook, Turn Off Your Cellphone &Get Comfortable So That You Can Read ThisEntire Letter Now From Beginning to End!

It is that important.

Find out more in the Men's Divorce Strategies Guide.

Shame of Being Last For Our Kids | From Ireland

2008-12-12T21:56:00.000-06:00

Nobody should be complacent about the latest Unicef report into childcare services. Out of 25 developed countries, it ranked Ireland joint last. Last!

We are the worst. We put fewest resources and least thought into how our children are raised.
Let's see who's better than us: Slovenia, for a start (10th); South Korea (18th) and even Mexico (19th) rank higher than we do.

The news about pig farmers, medical cards, cervical vaccinations and recession is depressing, but surely being shown up for our don't-care attitude when it comes to childcare is really worse?
Guilt

In fact, Ireland meets only one of 10 benchmarks of minimum standards for protecting children's rights.

But while the report should leave the Government feeling embarrassed over its lack of insight and planning, it is mums and dads who will feel most of the guilt.

The Unicef report claims that babies who are placed in childcare before the age of 12 months can suffer psychological harm and fare poorly at school, and that aggressive behaviour learned by some children at nurseries may contribute later to classroom disruption and anti-social behaviour.

It says we are taking a "high-stakes gamble with today's children and tomorrow's world" and that formal childcare settings such as creches "may weaken the attachment between parents and child". It raises doubts about the long-term impact on children's development.
"The younger the child and the longer the hours spent in childcare, the greater the risk. In particular, long hours of childcare for those under the age of one year is widely regarded as inappropriate," it went on.

So, while you thought you were doing the best thing for your baby by finding a good creche, interviewing kind carers and forking out thousands in fees so that your baby gets the best while you join the long commute and breathe a sigh of relief that at least he or she is being stimulated and cared for while you slog away to pay for it, it seems you were wrong.

And, if you're a nice, middle-class family with high values about education and social development, it's even worse. Unicef claims that while formal childcare arrangements can benefit disadvantaged children by offering them stimulation and development they might not get at home, children from wealthier families might end up suffering behavioural and aggression problems in school from not being attached to mummy's hip all day.

Of course, for the vast majority of couples, opting for childcare is something they don't have the choices about that Unicef would wish, because we don't live in an ideal world. Ideally, mums or dads would be able to stay at home full time for the first year or two of baby's life (assuming it didn't drive them bonkers). Everyone knows this: it certainly doesn't take a lengthy report to tell us.

Cuts
In an ideal world (or any Nordic country) governments would also know this and create policies to allow it to happen.

But in the real world (Ireland), families have to eat, pay the mortgage and bills while they have a Government which thinks nothing of cutting education budgets in schools and actually creating a situation where more tax is paid by a couple where one of them chooses to stay at home.
So, as women are being encouraged to enter the workforce and do so in large numbers, they are made to feel bad all over again by research such as this. But having your child in a loving, nurturing childcare facility does not produce an anti-social bully in later life. Having parents who don't give a toss about where their kids are and what they are doing, does.

It would be nice to think that someone in Leinster House was actually going to sit down and read this report or even consider altering social policy to address some of its concerns. Much more likely, sadly, is that people in Barnardos and the Children's Ombudsman will keep banging their heads against their respective brick walls, as will the thousands of parents around the country who wish things could be different.

http://www.herald.ie/opinion/columnists/sinead-ryan/shame-of-being-last-for-our-kids-1573067.html

Family's A Career For Some Dads

2008-12-01T20:39:00.001-06:00

After he bows, 5-year-old Jasper Thomas practices karate kicks in the morning before he dresses himself, makes his bed, feeds his dog, Moki, and lets him outside.

Then he wakes his parents.

"His karate teacher told him it's a privilege to be here," said Jasper's mother, Julie Thomas. She said her son wants to prove that he's responsible enough to earn the right.

"His chores are like his work," Julie said. "He wants to be like his dad."

He is well on his way.

Jeff Thomas, 33, has a full-time job unlike many fathers in Utah.

"I'm a stay-at-home-dad," Jeff said.

"My main priority is these guys," he said, pointing at the two blond children on playground equipment at the park. The kids were trying to get Moki to go down the slide.

"I grew up in a career-oriented home among socialites," Thomas said. "I was really neglected because of that."

By the time he was 7 years old, Jeff Thomas was basically taking care of himself. He wants a different childhood for his children.

"When you get neglected," Jeff said as tears came to his eyes, "you struggle because you want to be loved. I don't want them to have the same feeling as I had when I was growing up."

After his parents divorced, Jeff said, his family situation reached a point where he was almost placed in foster care. Instead, he went to live with his sister in Boise. There, he helped raise her family. By the time he was 13, he was reading books with titles like "Circle of Life."

"She had child-development books lying around everywhere," Jeff said. "I was a teenager and was reading those books. It prepared me for this."

Julie said her husband has wanted to be a stay-at-home dad from the beginning.

"On our first date," Julie said, "we said if we ever stayed together, he'd have to be a stay-at-home-dad and I'd work."

Thirteen years later, the couple is living that goal in the Daybreak development, where they live with their children, Jasper and a 2-year-old daughter, Jaden. Each morning, Julie, 30, awakes about 6 a.m. to start her telecommuting job in their basement, where she works until the afternoon. Jeff takes care of the children, and in the evening he works part time from home as an airline reservation agent.

"I never imagined that we would luck out and I could work from home," Julie said.

On a wall in their home hangs a collage of family photos surrounding the words, "No ordinary moment."

"As a parent," Jeff said, "the situation is always changing. You have to deal with new scenarios."

He said that some men, when they find out he is a stay-at-home dad, assume it's an easy job.

"Dude, you need to have more respect for your wife," Jeff said of his response. "They have no clue."

With an acronym that sounds like "sad," it is no surprise stay- at-home dads (SAHDs) may battle for a better image.

Or, in Utah, any image.

"I think Utah is just very unique," said Jeff, who has a registered Web site for SAHDs in Utah.

He said he occasionally meets up with another SAHD he knows in Layton. "It takes a lot to motivate dads to get out together."

Despite Utah's limited numbers, SAHDs are increasing in the United States. Of the estimated 64.3 million fathers in 2006, according to the Survey of Income and Program Participation, 159,000 were SAHDs, according to America's Families and Living Arrangements.

The study defines SAHDs as married fathers with children younger than 15 and who have remained out of the labor force for at least one year primarily so they can care for the family while their wives work outside the home.

On blog sites such as AtHomeDad.org, RebelDad.com or Fatherville.com, stay-at-home dads all over the country discuss child-rearing issues like potty training, personality problems, dressing a child modestly or dressing a child's wounds.

Who are these dads?

"Forget the buttoned-down, three-piece-suit-wearing fathers of yesteryear," authors Ron
Rentel and Joe Zellnik say, "who arrive home from work just in time for dinner and who left nurturing strictly to mom."

In their book "Karma Queens, Geek Gods and Innerpreneurs," Rentel and Zellnik wrote that these 25- to 40-year-old "Denim Dads" were raised during the '70s when feminism was in "full force."

"Girls of the time were told they could grow up to be anything they wanted to be," Rentel and Zellnik wrote, "and the first generation of Denim Dads was taking it all in."

Rentel and Zellnik wrote that a full third of this generation had divorced parents, and though not all Denim Dads turned out to be SAHDs, they were "determined to do things differently."

"I've never been one to hold to conventional wisdom anyway," Kenn Johnson said.

Johnson, 35, is a SAHD. He and his wife, Jolene, 31, live in Bountiful. Kenn works part time with KSL and Jolene is a nurse practitioner.

"She makes more than I ever could in radio," Kenn said. He said that his being at home with the kids "just made sense." Jolene works a 12- and 24-hour shift during the week, and Kenn works a couple hours each morning from home. The rest of the time the family is free to spend time together.

Deseret News (Salt Lake City), Jun 15, 2008 by Molly Bennett Deseret News

7 out of 10 Mums Say Dad is Just As Good As Me

2008-11-19T18:56:00.005-06:00

This article is a little old but I never thought I see the day that the headline of a story talking about dads would have any mom saying "dad is just as good as me".

"biggest positive impact of a dad's involvement is on a child's behavioural problems, self esteem and school work" a fact that has been tried to be portrayed for so many years has now been proven and mums back it up...

The story on DIY Father is as follows:

Seven out of ten mums (68%) believe dads are as skilled at parenting as they are, yet the father role is seen as still secondary by much of society, according to new ICM research launched by the Fatherhood Institute today.

The new institute says involving fathers has a major impact on child welfare yet they spend on average a month less with their children than mums every year, mainly because of unsocial hours and inflexible working. It is calling for a shake up of parental leave, all family professionals such as midwives and teachers to actively involve fathers, and more done to ensure dads sign birth certificates, in line with international best practice.

Reading at school with their children and staying overnight during hospital births are two of the Institute's new proposals to boost dads' involvement with kids. These proposals are backed by 71% and 79% of mums respectively. Seven out of ten of all respondents say there should be a zero tolerance approach when dads don't take on their parenting responsibilities.

Both men and women believe the biggest positive impact of a dad's involvement is on a child's behavioural problems, self esteem and school work, according to the poll. This is backed by independent evidence cited in The Difference a Dad Makes, launched alongside the survey findings.

More than 1000 people - as well as an additional sample of dads and mums - were surveyed over the last month. The findings state that:

68% of mums say that dad is just as good at looking after the kids as them
95% of men and women say it is important for dads to spend time caring for children during their first two years

67% of women and 72% of men say society values a child's relationship with mother more than father
6 out of 10 (59%) people say that society assumes mothers are good for children, but fathers have to prove it
Two-thirds (66%) of fathers regret not having more time to spend with their children
70% of people say there should be 'zero tolerance' if fathers do not take on their parenting responsibilities.

Duncan Fisher, Director of The Fatherhood Institute, said today:

"Most mums have confidence in dads - and they want them to play a bigger role. People's instincts about parenting back up what research has been telling us."

"It's clear that parental leave and services do not meet the needs of the modern family. Government and policy makers need to catch up with reality because involving dads has a huge impact on a child's wellbeing and life chances."

The Fatherhood Institute, in a new report The Difference a Dad Makes, launched alongside the research, has today called for six goals for policy makers as a first step to enabling greater positive involvement of dads:

Shake up the parental leave system so fathers can spend more time with kids under two years-old
25,000 more dads per year to sign their child's birth certificate, to reach international standards and halve the number of those who don't
Dads able to stay overnight in hospital with their partner when their baby is born
Modern and relevant antenatal education for both parents
Dads reading with their children in all primary schools
Family professionals - midwives, teachers, health visitors, nursery workers, social workers
confidently engaging with dads as well as mums, and supporting all family types.

Notes:

The Fatherhood Institute is the UK's fatherhood think tank. The Institute (charity reg. no.1075104): collates and publishes international research on fathers, fatherhood and different approaches to engaging with fathers; helps shape national and local policies to ensure a father-inclusive approach to family policy; injects research evidence on fathers and fatherhood into national debates about parenting and parental roles; lobbies for changes in law, policy and practice to dismantle barriers to fathers' care of infants and children; is the UK's leading provider of training, consultancy and publications on father-inclusive practice, for public and third sector agencies and employers. The Institute's vision is for a society that gives all children a strong and positive relationship with their father and any father-figures; supports both mothers and fathers as earners and carers; and prepares boys and girls for a future shared role in caring for children.

Through a separate partly-owned company, DAD, the Institute provides information directly to fathers and their families, while raising funds to ensure appropriate information is delivered to fathers in the most excluded groups.
ICM interviewed a random sample of 1,324 adults aged 18+ (including 593 parents), by telephone between 7 and 13 December 2007. Interviews were conducted across the country and the results have been weighted to the profile of all adults. ICM is a member of the British Polling Council and abides by its rules. Further information at www.icmresearch.co.uk.

2 GB Sansa MP3 Player for under $20

2008-11-19T11:37:00.006-06:00

Order of Protection

2008-10-23T20:46:00.000-06:00

During the time you file for child custody modification you may find yourself presented with an Ex Parte, also know as an Order of Protection or Restraining Order. As hard as it may be, avoid them if you can. They can add more cost to an already expensive on going child custody dispute. Although sometimes when you need information that is enough to be the "straw that broke the camels back", so to speak, play it smart and video tape everything.

Read more about Ex Parte's or Order of Protections.

Deadbeats Allowed to Keep Lottery Winnings, Audit Says

2008-10-21T23:02:00.002-06:00

ANNAPOLIS, Md. -- An audit of Maryland's child support enforcement agency shows that hundreds of lottery winners were allowed to keep their winning despite overdue child support payments.

The audit issued Thursday by the Department of Legislative Services showed the agency did not report more than 600 deadbeat parents to the Maryland Lottery, which would have diverted their winnings into payments. It also found that the agency stopped seizing funds from delinquent parents' bank accounts and issued support checks to dead people.

Maryland's chief auditor, Bruce Meyers, said a sampling of 11 parents owing $244,000 in child support showed they kept $29,100 in lottery winnings. He says it violates state law and shows the enforcement agency isn't doing enough to collect from deadbeat parents.

"They have to check it out," Meyers said. "Some of it was collected, but they could have just done a better job."

The audit found that more than $331,000 in child support payments were made to 576 people 30 days or more after their deaths. Agency officials said most checks were cashed by appropriate people, such as subsequent caregivers. But a sampling of 20 deceased people shows that $152,000 in checks payable to them were cashed by unknown people.

Administration officials said they've requested advice from the Maryland attorney general.

The agency was criticized in the audit for not suspending or revoking state-issued professional licenses from delinquent parents. Auditors found that more than 5,200 licensees owe $47 million in child support and more than half of 20 sampled had not made any recent payments.

Del. Charles Barkley, a Montgomery County Democrat who worked to pass legislation in 2007 to add lawyers to the list of 16 licenses subject to revocation for unpaid child support.

"It's absurd," Barkley said. "It's not easy to collect the money, but we give them a lot of tools and we expect them to use them. I think with that threat, people do come clean and pay overdue bills."

The study spans March 2004 through August 2007, when unpaid child support in Maryland totaled $1.57 billion.

Written responses in the report said the administration is setting up automated matches with licensing boards and the state lottery.

POSTED: 7:09 am EDT October 17, 2008
RESOURCE:; http://www.nbc4.com/news/17737920/detail.html

Halloween Activities and Games for Kids

2008-10-21T20:20:00.001-06:00

Imagine having all of the fun Kids Halloween Activities and Halloween Kids Games that you want - right at your fingertips.

You don't need to spend hours searching the internet, looking for what you want and you don't need to spend your precious time making your own activities.

Best of all these are educational Halloween activities and educational Halloween games so while kids have fun they are also learning.

Halloween Activities and Games for Kids

Learn How To Win Your Divorce Without Losing Your Shorts or Your Kids!

2008-10-21T16:21:00.006-06:00

If you are a man facing divorce, this is quite simply the most important letter you will read today – and possibly the most important letter you will read in your lifetime!

It’s true and here’s why:

In less than the 10 minutes it takes you to read this letter, I’m going to reveal how you can quickly and easily WIN your divorce and keep from losing everything that’s important to you – like your kids, your house, your car, your TV, your clothes and much, much more!

Go here to find out more on how to Win Your Divorce Without Losing Everything

KS Court of Appeal rules divorce court can't keep jurisdiction over possible future pension...

2008-10-13T11:46:00.003-06:00

I understand this article is old but thought it could be useful to anybody that has a pension or retirement that they may be concerned about when it comes to a divorce.

A court couldn't retain jurisdiction to divide pension benefits that a husband might be offered in the future, the Kansas Court of Appeals has ruled.

The plaintiff was the pastor of a small church that had no retirement plan for employees. However, on two prior occasions, the church had provided retiring pastors with lifetime retirement benefits or monetary gifts. Each time, the decision was made ad hoc at the time of the pastor's retirement, and the church's board of directors subsequently agreed that no similar benefit would be provided in the future.

When the plaintiff and his wife divorced, the state court decided to retain jurisdiction over any retirement benefits the plaintiff might receive in the future.

The plaintiff argued that the court didn't have jurisdiction over property that the parties might own in the future.

The Kansas Court of Appeals agreed.

"The court cannot reserve jurisdiction to divide at some future time a retirement plan that is not in being and never has been in being," the court said.

Here, "a district court [does not have] jurisdiction to delay the final division of property for an indeterminate number of years to see if a spouse will gain a retirement or pension plan not in existence at the time of the divorce. [A]lthough district courts have broad discretion to adjust the property rights of parties to a divorce action, such discretion extends only to actually dividing the property.... 'A court may not defer making a decision.' The district court in this case abused its discretion by refusing to enter a final order dividing the marital property as required by statute."

In the Matter of the Marriage of Crane (Lawyers USA No. 9934326) Kansas Court of Appeals No. 94,321. Sept. 29, 2006.

By USA, Lawyers
Publication: Lawyers USA
Date: Monday, October 23 2006
http://www.allbusiness.com/services/legal-services/4092739-1.html

Mens Divorce Secrets Book

2008-09-30T18:47:00.004-06:00

I came across this interesting book "Mens Divorce Secrets. What Men Need To Know When Considering A Divorce, And The Things Even Your Lawyer Wont Tell You Till Its Too Late!" Interesting reading you may want to check out.

Help for Men with Divorce

Leslie Lawson - Family Law Attorney in Lee's Summit, MO

2007-03-03T13:24:00.007-06:00

Serving Metro Kansas City, Licensed on Both Sides of the Border
My clients can expect to feel that their interests are being looked after by a compassionate and experienced legal advocate throughout their case. From my law office in Lee's Summit, Missouri, I counsel clients throughout the metro Kansas City area, as I am licensed in both Kansas and Missouri.

My clients can expect clear and consistent communication from me until their case is completely resolved, and they need not worry about being passed off to an assistant when they are in need of personal counsel.

Find out more about Missouri and Kansas Licensed Attorneys on DadsDivorceKC.com.

Help with Bankruptcy During a Divorce

2007-02-08T00:45:00.004-06:00

Free informational articles concerning bankruptcy, how to file, selecting a qualified attorney, effects on your credit and mortgage, bankruptcy alternatives, qualifying for unsecured loans.

Free info on bankruptcy, secured credit cards and unsecured loans.

Father's Rights and Custody Modification in Missouri

2006-04-08T11:21:00.000-06:00

We started this forum to help dads who want to try to gain custody of their children or just find out about their legal rights in the Kansas City Metropolitan Area or just in the state of Missouri. We just went through a custody modification and won sole legal and sole physical custody. How does that happen??? We are still trying to figure that one out.

While we went through the child custody modification(for over a year), I searched everywhere on the internet to find information to help men and their rights for child custody. There really wasn't anything beneficial.

If you have any beneficial advice, questions or you just want to tell your story, please feel free to add it. We currently have www.dadsdivorcekc.com under construction. We may be able to add your stories or advice to the site in the future.

Thanks and Good Luck!